cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
