You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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