you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
