Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
