You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
