can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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