who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
