my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
