I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
