I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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