i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
