well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
