What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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