marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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