i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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