if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
