No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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