yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
