Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
As shirtless as possible
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
