You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize