All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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