Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
