You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
