She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
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