Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
