it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
