Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
