I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
