On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
