Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
