dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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