he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
