So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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