I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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