So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
two words: eviction party
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
