My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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