so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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