you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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