So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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