I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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