fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
