What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
