Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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