What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize