when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm like, not good at living.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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