He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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