i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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