I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
