They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
