found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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