This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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