i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
