The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
