You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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