Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
