two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
