if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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