Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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