dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
