I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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