hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
