she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Can i not drive my cunt home
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
