Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
