I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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